Before I was married and had children I thought it would be wonderful to be a stay-at-home  homeschooling mom.   Then I got married and had kids, dealt with depression and a few other things.   Basically I came to find out that my previously perceived ideas about the future were not my reality at that time.   I decided that I didn’t want to be a stay-at-home mom mom because I wasn’t really enjoying my children and that functioning in life was all I could handle at the time.   The shadows of depression colored so many areas of my life and I felt like I was just surviving instead of living.  If asked about the possibility of homeschooling I would just say “There aren’t enough drugs to make me want to do that.”  Even though pre-kids that was all I was going to do. 

After saying “never” to homeschooling after having kids we are now going to take the plunge and homeschool Ben next year.   There are many reasons why we are doing it and the funny thing is that none of the reasons are the reasons I had PK (pre-kids).  We are doing this now because they are increasing class size in the school district.   Benjamin is your average middle of the road student.  He’s a smart boy (what mother wouldn’t say that), but he’s also a tad bit lazy.  If not pushed he won’t do the work or he does it with just minimal effort.  I’m afraid that he will get lost in a room full of 30 students.  Another reason for homeschooling this coming year is that in the next year or two we feel like we are being led to move into full time ministry (meaning Walter wants to be a pastor somewhere).   More than likely that means a move.   Jobs just don’t open up when the school year ends and  since I remember the many moves my family made in my child hood and the stress of  changing schools and the uncertainty that it caused me we decided that as many things as possible should remain the same as we take this next step in our lives.  One of those things can be homeschooling.

The reasons PK – sheltering them from the “world”, teaching them our values instead of others, it would make me a good “Christian” mom are not even our reasons for making this choice right now.   While I’m sure that my kids will be a little bit more sheltered by not being at school, there still is TV, Walmart, kids in sports and even kids at AWANA and church that my kids will be influenced by.   But I’m hoping by us being together more hours in the day that we can discuss and process things together.   I will admit that I am glad that Walter and I get to choose the curriculum that we will be using.  By nature of who we are we will most likely be teaching more conservative ideas than he would necessarily get in public school.   During school time we  probably will be listening to Rush, Hannity and Beck on the radio and in my opinion that’s not really a bad thing.   I’ve totally come to realize that being a good Christian mom isn’t about homeschooling or not.  It’s all about following what I feel like God is wanting me to do.  It’s living my life daily dying to self and trying to live for Him.

So while we are taking this leap of faith and following what we feel like the Lord wants us to do at this time it’s still scary.  I’m scared I’m not smart enough to do this, I’m scared that my perfectionist tendencies will take over and leave me incapable of moving forward.   But we have a plan, a great curriculum and a great support from people we know. 

Stick around and follow us on this journey and as we try to live life more and more within God’s Grace.