Here in the Kirklin house we tend to live our lives around the school year calendar.   I don’t know if that’s because of being married to a teacher or having served in our church for so long and that seems to be when the “ministry” year starts.  

We are gearing up for the year to begin.   I think we can say that it officially begins tomorrow.   I need to be up bright and early because the boys that I’m babysitting this year (for Ben’s teacher last year) are set to arrive at 7:30!   This is something that is a little new for all of us.  The boys are 3 and 1.   They are wonderfully behaved boys, but the issue I’m having is my daughter doesn’t seem to like having one so close to her age around.   She doesn’t like sharing her momma!

On Tuesday we are going to do a bit of schooling.  We’ve had about a four week break this last month and it’s time to get back to it.  We officially start school on the 24th.    Benjamin is getting use to the idea that mom is going to be his teacher.  Becca is totally on board and is excited to learn anything she can.  

This week Walter will hopefully be putting the finishing touch on his resume and cover letter and be sending it off to a few churches.  There are a few churches that have caught our eye, now we just have to see if Walter catches their eye.  

Ministry-wise we are gearing up to continue to host our small group on Thursday nights.   We love our small group, it’s an eclectic group of people.   An older couple and then two single guys and then Walter and I.  But we all have one thing in common and that’s to learn more about the Lord.   We are hoping to expand the group a bit.   We also might start leading the college group at church.  

With homeschooling, doing daycare, soccer for both kids, AWANA and possibly a homeschool co-op group, scouts and piano lessongs for Ben we have a full plate.  But I know that God is in control and in charge.    And with that I can fully say….. Let the year begin, because HE who is in charge knows how it will end!

Tomorrow you turn four.  I know I say this every year but I don’t know how it’s going by so fast.   It seems like just yesterday you were placed in my arms.  A beautiful newborn.  I remember asking Grandma to go and get me a pink night gown for you since you looked so much like your brother.  But I think right away I knew that you were going to be different, you were going to change my heart and my life in wonderful ways.  

My dearest Becca, it took me a little bit longer to fall in love with you than I thought.  I think part of that was because of the miscarriage we had between you and your brother.  I was scared.  In fact I was so scared that I was going to loose you I didn’t take the time to enjoy every moment of my pregnancy with you.  I was scared when I found out that you were a girl.  Not being a “girly-girl” myself I didn’t know what to do with you.   I was actually a little disappointed that you weren’t a boy during that first ultrasound.

Please, my little Princess, don’t think that this confession means that I don’t love you or that I love your brother more.   Nothing could be farther from the truth.   Your daddy taught me that I was worth loving, your brother taught me the extreem love of a mother and a child, but my dear one, you helped me learn how to love myself, the person that God created.  I would say that the lesson you taught me is most important.  

Rebecca, sweetheart, you are a wonder.   You  bring laughter to our family with your sense of humor.  I love when you tell your favorite joke.   Your little voice asking  “Why don’t bears where pants?”   and you wait for us to ask “Why?”  And then you shout with joy “Because they have bare butts….get it”  and then you just laugh and laugh and laugh.    You also bring a softness, a gentleness to out family that we didn’t have before.  Just by being a girl your brother and daddy are a little less rough and a little more tender hearted than before. 

Becca you are a princess.   You tell us often enough.   When trying to get you to wear pants you will tell me “Princesses only where dresses”.   And when asked who the king is you will tell us that “Jesus is the King and I’m his princess”   your Gigi book has made an impact on you, but you also know it’s truth. 

As I sit here, thinking that exactly 4 years ago I had no clue how my life was going to change the next morning, but oh so grateful that my life did change.   You fill my heart with so many emotions.  You make me joyous when I see you learn and watch your zest for life.  You can also frustrate me, with your will that at times unbendable.   But I know that will serve you well in the future.   You are definately not a follower in life.  You are a leader.   You grab the car of life by the steering wheel and just go for it.

My child, I love you.  I’m so glad that you are my daughter.   Remember that as you grow older.   No matter what, be secure in the fact that I love you so much it hurts.

Today Walter took the kids camping overnight.   I decided to stay home because I just wanted some time to myself.   

The kids were so excited to go.  Both kids were in the van before it had been completely loaded.  Becca called for me to come out and buckle her as Walter got a few last things together. 

When I married Walter I knew that he would be a good dad, I just never realized how good of dad he would be.   He’s a fun dad who has more patience than I’ve ever seen a man have.  He looks at times like this camping trip as memory building moments that will last a life time.  Ben and Becca are so lucky that their daddy has time for them and enjoys being with them.

The campground where they are at is about 2 miles from the beach at the lake.  Ben didn’t want to ride his bike that far so Walter hooked the trail-a-bike on to his bike and then the bike trailer to the trail-a-bike.  Walter said he got a few “oh how cute” comments from his long train as he took the kids on bike rides.

As I drift off to sleep tonight I’m so glad that I’ve had this time at home by myself, but I’m excited for my family to return and to hear all about their adventures in person.

***Edited to say:  This isn’t an issue about what’s for breakfast, my issue with my daughter is always saying “But I…..”  and talking  back.   I would have given her cereal no problem, it was the tone and attitude in which she addressed me first.   I guess if you weren’t there you wouldn’t have known that.

Scene at breakfast:  I’m setting down beautiful plates of scrabled eggs with salsa and cheese.  A crowd favorite at our house.

Becca:  I don’t want this, I want Coco Puffs.

Me:  Tough luck, this is what you are having.

Becca:  But I…….

Me:  Go to your room and sit, I don’t want to hear “But I’s.”

Becca:   That’s ok, I want to go sit on my bed.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I bring my daughter to you.   She has such a strong will.  I see so much potential in her.  I know she has the strength and the will power to do anything she sets her mind to.   Help me to be the best mommy to her, bringing around a changed heart, one not of just obedience, but one because she trust me (and You) to follow what we say.   Let me know which battles to pick and the ones to let go of.   Help me not to provoke or frustrate her on purpose, but to do everything to help her become the girl (and one day woman) you want her to be.

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged.  Life has really been busy here at our house.   November was filled with getting ready for a little surgical procedure, having a run in with the hospital and insurance regarding benefits, canceling “little” procedure and then a week later rescheduling for the first of December before benefits run out.

I spent a nice week over in Redding after my surgery.  My mom came up to take care of me and it was a nice time of connecting.  My dad came up and then Walter and the kids came over for the weekend.   It was great for my parents to get to know my kids a little better.

December was a whirl wind of recovering from surgery, getting back to work, getting ready for Christmas, having snow on the ground for 1 1/2 weeks, the van having issues and having to be taken into Reno, Ben’s Christmas party and in all the hussle and bustle try to remember what Christmas is all about.

As I look upon the past year it’s been a year of change.  This year didn’t have the heartache and personal struggles that the previous years have had.   Actually I’ve noticed that the ache from the brokenness of those years is dissipating.  Praise the Lord for He is so good and doesn’t leave us in those dark places for long.  

I’m so blessed.  I have a husband who totally and completely loves me and the kids.   He desires to serve the Lord and wants our family to serve along with him.   I have a son who is imaginative and smart.  He has a tender heart and is always looking for ways to make things better for others.   And then there is our daughter.   Oh Miss Rebecca how I love you!   You make me laugh and even sometimes cry.   You bring great joy to our lives.   You are always thinking and always keeping me on my toes.  

As I look forward to this new year I wonder what God has in store for us.   Will this be the year where we take the huge leap and go into full time ministry?   God knows the plans he has for us – and without a doubt they are plans to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us a hope and a future! (Jer 29:11 – paraphrase mine).