Here in the Kirklin house we tend to live our lives around the school year calendar.   I don’t know if that’s because of being married to a teacher or having served in our church for so long and that seems to be when the “ministry” year starts.  

We are gearing up for the year to begin.   I think we can say that it officially begins tomorrow.   I need to be up bright and early because the boys that I’m babysitting this year (for Ben’s teacher last year) are set to arrive at 7:30!   This is something that is a little new for all of us.  The boys are 3 and 1.   They are wonderfully behaved boys, but the issue I’m having is my daughter doesn’t seem to like having one so close to her age around.   She doesn’t like sharing her momma!

On Tuesday we are going to do a bit of schooling.  We’ve had about a four week break this last month and it’s time to get back to it.  We officially start school on the 24th.    Benjamin is getting use to the idea that mom is going to be his teacher.  Becca is totally on board and is excited to learn anything she can.  

This week Walter will hopefully be putting the finishing touch on his resume and cover letter and be sending it off to a few churches.  There are a few churches that have caught our eye, now we just have to see if Walter catches their eye.  

Ministry-wise we are gearing up to continue to host our small group on Thursday nights.   We love our small group, it’s an eclectic group of people.   An older couple and then two single guys and then Walter and I.  But we all have one thing in common and that’s to learn more about the Lord.   We are hoping to expand the group a bit.   We also might start leading the college group at church.  

With homeschooling, doing daycare, soccer for both kids, AWANA and possibly a homeschool co-op group, scouts and piano lessongs for Ben we have a full plate.  But I know that God is in control and in charge.    And with that I can fully say….. Let the year begin, because HE who is in charge knows how it will end!

In three sleeps (the way we count down around here) we will be leaving for Spirit West Coast.   This is our third year going and the kids are excited to go and so are Walter and I. 

Today has been a big day of preparing the food.   Walter and I do the cooking for the event and this year we are cooking for about 30 people.  We cooked 10 lbs of ground beef for spaghetti sauce which we will eat on Wednesday night.   We’ve also cooked about 30 lbs of ground beef that needed to be cooked and frozen to use at a later date or it would go bad and just need to be thrown away.   Tomorrow morning we will be cooking about more ground beef for taco salads which we will eat on Friday afternoon. 

Tonight I was getting ready to do some griping.  But I had to take a step back and realize who we are doing this for.   There’s a little bit of doing it for ourselves, a little bit of pride that we have to keep pushing down because we’ve got cooking for a group down to a pretty good science.   We are doing it for the kids, because on they are a great group of kids and I enjoy getting to know them.   We are doing it be able to go see David Crowder Band,  Brandon Heath , Mercy Me and of course everyone in the family is excited to see Toby Mac.  But really the real reason we are doing this is to serve the Lord. 

We will be a little sad to leave Echo for a few days, but we know she will be taken good care of by Jackie.

Each year gets a little bit easier to go.  The kids are older so they are less work.  We know what to expect, unlike that very first year.  That first night as we were trying to go to sleep I told Walter that we were getting a hotel room the rest of the weekend because I just couldn’t handle it.  Now we know what to expect and pack accordingly. 

Just a few more things to get done.  We need to get ID bracelets for the kids in case anything happens and finish packing clothes for everyone. 

Monterey here we come!

AWANA started last Wednesday.   My kids have been excited about it for the weeks leading up to it.   Last year was Ben’s first year as a Sparkie and Becca was a Puggle.    This year Ben’s still a Sparkie and Becca has moved up to being a Cubbie.   

Wednesday’s are exciting times here in our house.   Even thought we don’t need to be at the church until 5:45, the kids are fed and ready to go by 10 after 5.   We leave and go up to the church, the kids walk in secure that the people there love and care for them.   This is our 4th year attending AWANA at the church that we take our kids to.  It’s nice to see the same faces week after week.   This year lots of people who attend our church have started bringing their kids.   This week the parking lot was full.  It was great to see so many people participating.

Tonight Becca beat out her brother memorizing verses.   Becca memorized 4 to Ben’s 2. 

The best thing about AWANA is that mom and dad get to have an evening at home, alone for two whole hours!  The quiet is wonderful, but at the end of the two hours we are ready to go back to pick up our kids, to hear about their evening and to see what God is doing in their lives.

Basically for the last year I have stepped away from doing active ministry, by that I mean leading, co-leading or participating on any “ministry team”.   My excuse a year ago was that I was too busy with work and being a wife and mother, but truth be told it was because I was tired of dealing with relationships.  Relationships are hard work (can I get an amen?!?), especially when you are afraid of being hurt and letting people get too close to you.   I could use the excuse that it was poor leadership in the church that led to a few broken relationships, which probably anyone would say is true, but honestly it was because of me and my “stuff”.  

So you could ask, what’s changed in the past year?   A lot really and although a few changes have happened at church, mostly and more importantly they’ve happened within me.  Jeremiah 17:7 says “”But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.”   

The last few months I have purposefully started to spend time with the Lord each and every day.   What do I mean by that?   I have a bible study that I do about 4 to 5 times a week.    I used to feel guilty that I didn’t get up early enough to do it before the kids were up, but what really is working for me is that I do it when I can.   Sometimes I put a video or cartoon on for the kids to watch and do it in the morning, around 9:00 or 10:00.   Sometimes it’s coming home from work and doing it then.   But the point is, I have a purposeful time of reading and studying God’s word.   An amazing thing happens – He speaks to me and slowly I notice heart changes in my life.

Another thing that I’ve done that has slowly lead to heart changes is one or two times a week we (Walter and I) listen to a message by Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Churchin Seattle Washington.   Our good friend Patrick lives up there and attends this church.    His messages are wonderful and Walter and I enjoy talking about them even days afterwards.   The messages make me think, make me question why I believe certain things, and make me realize I need to be more missional in my thinking and in how I live life.

If you look at each individual thing that I’m doing, it doesn’t seem like much, but when you put them together it is exponentially changing my life.   I’m becoming more humble, because it’s only by the Grace of God that I’m the wife, mother and person I am today.   God restored me and blessed me when I decided to invite him back into my life 8 years ago.   After a few years of struggling, not thinking I had any value, feeling unlovable, God changed that.   He renewed my passion for Him, and blessed me with more than I could ever imagine or deserve.    God is no longer blessed to have me on His team, I’m so richly blessed because He still allows me to be on His team.  It comes down to daily I’m trusting in Him and what He is doing in our life.

And by trusting, He’s calling me to go out and get back in the mix of ministry.   Messy ministry.   Yet when I’m in the mix of ministry there is a peace of knowing I’m doing exactly what the Lord is calling me to do.   This is what life is all about – working with people so they know how wonderful our God is.   Because when it all comes down to it, life is nothing without Him.

Today has been one of those Sunday’s that I dreamed about in my 20’s when I was desiring a husband and a family.  One that the family was together, the kids were happy, time was spent with my husband, the weather perfect – everything just God appointed and planned.   I would have missed so much of it if I would have given into my own lazy tendencies and blown off church this morning like I wanted us to.

So really the day didn’t start off all that great.   Walter and I got into a little bit of a tiff because I wanted to blow off a meeting that we had, because I thought if we blew it off then we would just stay home.   But we didn’t and we made it to church just as the people we were meeting arrived.   With the kids off to Sunday School we met with another couple about starting a small group.   I was encouraged by what the Lord could do with another small group starting.   Already there is another couple who want to join and ask me about when we are going to start every time I see them.

During church service I was able to cuddle little Miss Sophia.   She is one of the twins that were just born to my friend Kristin.   She’s the cutest little thing ever and it was so wonderful to hold a little newborn.    Half way through church she cuddled up and fell asleep on my chest.   I leaned over to Walter and told him it was a good thing that we can’t have anymore kids because my ovaries ached holding that little sweet one.   Besides such sweetness in my arms during church, there was fantastic singing and a great message.   The excitement to be at church was washing over me and I’m so excited with the new direction our church is going in (which is a total different post).   After picking up the kids from children’s church we enjoyed having sandwiches and just enjoying being home.

For a bit of the afternoon Becca was taking a nap, Ben was in the living room watching tv and Walter and I curled up on our bed and talked.   With the sun shining and us laying there it took me back to when we were first married, that first spring when we would spend much of our Sunday afternoons the same way-talking, hoping and praying for our future.   But this Sunday in 2008 we had our Bennyman coming in every so often to try to wiggle in between us.   After one successful wiggle, he cuddled up with me and turned to his father and said “Neener, neener, neener – I got your woman”.   We laughed as Walter tickled Ben.

The evening is ending, Walter reading to the kids in their room.   Bedtime is near.  The house is quiet, except for my fingers on the keyboard.   As I remember back to those lonely Sundays as a single person at church I dreamed of what days like this would be like.    Little did I know that they are better than I ever could have imagined.   It makes me mindful of God’s word and promise.   Jer 29:11 -  “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”